50 Ricky Bobby Quotes from Talladega Nights

Allow these Ricky Bobby quotes to make you laugh and brighten up your day.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is a 2006 sports comedy that stars Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby. Ricky Bobby was raised by his mother and he only saw his father once during his childhood, but he did learn a “need for speed” from his dad.

Ricky Bobby is a parody of the stereotypical redneck, Nascar enthusiast that only cares about going fast. Ricky Bobby is full of laughs, particularly with the relationship he has with his Father, Mother, and best friend. With a hilarious cast of characters, the movie will have you laughing from start to finish.

Don’t forget to also read these hilarious Talladega Nights quotes on winning.

Ricky Bobby Quotes

1. “Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said”…” I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.” – Ricky Bobby

2. “I wanna go fast!” – Ricky Bobby

3. “Cal, that is a new house! It just has a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it!” – Ricky Bobby

4. “Get back, I’ll windmill ya.” – Ricky Bobby

5. “Holy moly, that’s like lookin’ up Yasmine Bleeth’s skirt!” – Ricky Bobby

6. “Oh hey, I’m Ricky Bobby.” – Ricky Bobby

7. “Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.” – Ricky Bobby

8. “I’m embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.” – Ricky Bobby

9. “I’d love to sign your baby!” – Ricky Bobby

10. “Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch?” – Ricky Bobby

11. “Losing is never fun, but here’s a little something to keep your spirits up. It’s real nice. I got it at Target. It’s on sale.” – Ricky Bobby

12. “Why the hell am I even talking to you anyway?” – Ricky Bobby

13. “No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high-level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.” – Ricky Bobby

14. “I get emotional. You guys are workin’ so hard, and I’m just so proud of you. You remind me of me, precocious and full of wonderment.” – Ricky Bobby

15. “Here’s the deal. I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.” – Ricky Bobby

16. “Man, what the hell are you talking about?” – Ricky Bobby

17. “You don’t understand. You don’t understand because you don’t understand liberty. You don’t understand freedom.” – Ricky Bobby

18. “Health care systems, giant water parks. The same reason anyone comes to America.” – Ricky Bobby

19. “I came here to tell you one thing: come race time tomorrow, I’m coming for you.” – Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby Quotes from his kid Walker

20. “ANARCHY! ANARCHY!” – Walker

21. “Granny? How much longer are we gonna have to do this?” – Walker

22. “My friends and I skipped school and we filled up a cup of pee and tried to get our neighbor’s dog to drink it. But he wouldn’t.” – Walker

Ricky Bobby Quotes from his kid Texas Ranger

23. “Old man, I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey!” – Texas Ranger

24. “I don’t know what that means, but I LOVE it!” – Texas Ranger

25. “You better shut the hell up or I’ll come over there and rip a hole in that tent!” – Texas Ranger

26. “Shut those mutts up before I cook ’em and eat ’em!” – Texas Ranger

27. “One of you turds is gonna get smacked in the mouth!” – Texas Ranger

28. “You look old, Granny are you gonna die today?” – Texas Ranger

Ricky Bobby Quotes by Lucy Bobby (Ricky Bobby’s mother)

29. “I don’t know. How many more times are you gonna toss me the radio while I’m in the bathtub?” – Lucy Bobby

30. “I don’t care! I’m having a baby!” – Lucy Bobby

Ricky Bobby Quotes by Reese Bobby (Ricky Bobby’s father)

31. “Guess how fast we’re going now!” – Reese Bobby

32. “Now, there’s nothing like driving to avoid jail. Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity.” – Reese Bobby

33. “See you when you’re grown up.” – Reese Bobby

34. “You need to learn to drive with the fear, and there ain’t nothin’ more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car.” – Reese Bobby

35. “It’s the fastest who gets paid and it’s the fastest who gets laid.” – Reese Bobby

Ricky Bobby Quotes by Cal Naughton, Jr. (Ricky Bobby’s best friend)

36. “Ricky, I think your house is haunted.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.

37. “Abracadabra, homes.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.

38. “I tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. These two are two in a million, just like Carley’s ta-tas. You won’t find another rack like that, I guarantee it.” – Cal Naughton, Jr.

39. “Shake it! Before you Bake it!” – Cal Naughton, Jr.

40. “Please don’t let the invisible fire burn my friend!” – Cal Naughton, Jr.

41. “Hold on a second, Mr. Fancy-Pants Foreigner. You just broke my bro’s arm. Now you’re gonna get tasered. Say hello to Dr. Watts!” – Cal Naughton, Jr.

Ricky Bobby Quotes by Jean Girard (Ricky Bobby’s French nemesis)

42. “Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything that is different.” – Jean Girard

43. “And now, the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker!” – Jean Girard

44. “It’s a sign of friendship in many countries.” – Jean Girard

45. “There is nothing sexual about it. Please don’t be worried about the fact that I have an erection. It has nothing to do with you.” – Jean Girard

46. “Your injury is one of ignorance and pride!” – Jean Girard

47. “Soon you will know what it is like to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. As William Blake wrote, “The cut worm forgives the plow”.” – Jean Girard

48. “Where are you, “Reecky Booby”? Come face your destroyer!” – Jean Girard

49. “What has America ever given the world, apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the Thighmaster?” – Jean Girard

50. “But before I can do that I must be beaten by a driver who is truly better than me.” – Jean Girard

Which of these Ricky Bobby quotes is your favorite?

Ricky Bobby has one goal and that is to be number one. His quote “If you ain’t first, you’re last”, pretty much says everything about how he lives his life. In the movie, Ricky Bobby goes from having everything to having nothing. He loses his house, money, fame, and wife.

In losing everything, he is able to find everything he needs, including a relationship with his father, mother, and kids. His father teaches Ricky to overcome his biggest problem, which is fear.

Once he learns to harness his fear, he drives better than ever and his comeback begins. The best part of Ricky Bobby’s story happens while Ricky is preparing for his comeback to racing and the hilarious situations he encounters.

Did you enjoy these Ricky Bobby quotes and sayings? Which of the quotes is your favorite? Let us know in the comment section below.