borat quotes

Revisit one of the best guilty pleasure comedy movies through this collection of Borat quotes!

Borat is a dark comedy mockumentary movie series about the United States. It features the adventures of Borat Sagdiyev, a Kazakhstani journalist, as he goes to America to document its citizens’ lives.

Although the show is hilarious, its controversial theme and lines caused it to be banned in almost all Arab countries. On the flip side, its funny way of exposing the rotten system of the United States and other countries earned high ratings from known critics.

It’s a work of fiction but embedded in it are truths to society and the world. To understand what the movie series is trying to share with the world, you’ll have to read and think between the lines of the script.

So, if you need a break from the seriousness of life and want to learn something new, then you’ve come to the right place. Continue reading below to fill your day with laughter and fun.

Let’s get started.

Best Borat Quotes

1. “My name Borat. I like you. I like sex. It’s nice.” – Borat Sagdiyev

2. “My country send me to United States to make movie film. Please, you come see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.” – Borat Sagdiyev

3. “Kazakhstan is more civilized now. Women can now travel on inside of bus and homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hat.” – Borat Sagdiyev

4. “This is my country of Kazakhstan. It locate between Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan, and assholes Uzbekistan.” – Borat Sagdiyev

5. “I hope you kill every man, woman, and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq.” – Borat Sagdiyev

6. “I found a new book which only tells the truth. It’s called Facebook. I learn so many facts there.” – Sandra Jessica Parker Sagdiyev

7. “What is more dangerous, this virus or the Democrats?” – Borat Sagdiyev

8. “Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan is number one exporter of potassium. Other central Asian countries have inferior potassium.” – Borat Sagdiyev

9. “Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem too—economic, social, and Jew.” – Borat Sagdiyev

10. “When you chase a dream, especially one with plastic chests, you sometimes do not see what is right in front of.” – Borat Sagdiyev

Famous Borat Quotes

11. “American wine is like Kazakhstani wine, but not made from fermented horse urine.” – Borat Sagdiyev

12. “Do your vagjin hang like sleeve of wizard?” – Borat Sagdiyev

13. “A magnificent new premier named McDonald Trump rose to power and made America great again! He also became buddies with tough-guy leaders from around the world.” – Borat Sagdiyev

14. “You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?” – Borat Sagdiyev

15. “Fourteen years ago, I release a movie film which was great success in U.S. and A., but Kazakhstan become a laughing stocks around world.” – Borat Sagdiyev

16. “I arrived in America’s airport with clothings, U.S. dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.” – Borat Sagdiyev

17. “Throw the Jew down the well so my country can be free. You must grab him by the horns. Then we have a big party.” – Borat Sagdiyev

18. “Trump would be disappointed! You are leaving hotel without golden shower.” – Borat Sagdiyev

19. “I want to have a car that attract a woman with shave down below.” – Borat Sagdiyev

20. “In U.S. of A, democracy is very different from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot!” – Borat Sagdiyev

Funny Borat Quotes That We Are All Guilty of Laughing About

21. “We decided to not take airplane should the Jews repeat their attack of 9/11.” – Borat Sagdiyev

22. “My wife, she is dead. She die in a field. She die from work, an accident, but is not important. I have a new wife.” – Borat Sagdiyev

23. “I can hit a gypsy with a rock from 15 meters away if chained, 10 if not.” – Borat Sagdiyev

24. “My wife, she make this cheese. She make it with milk from her teat.” – Borat Sagdiyev

25. “Even though my anus broken, I knew the rest of our journey would be great success.” – Borat Sagdiyev

26. “Along my travelings, I learn many new things about America. For example that it no longer legal to shoot at Red Indians. Once again, I apologize with all my heart to the staff of the Potawatomi Casino in Kansas.” – Borat Sagdiyev

27. “The only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and making romance explosion on her stomach.” – Borat Sagdiyev

28. “My mustache still tastes of your testes.” – Borat Sagdiyev

29. “This my mother. She is oldest woman in all of Kuzcek! She is 43! This is my wife Oxanna. She is a moron.” – Borat Sagdiyev

30. “You let women in cinemas here? In my country, we have a pen outside for the animals and womens.” – Borat Sagdiyev

31. “She’s 15! She’s too old for you!” – Borat Sagdiyev

32. “I feel bad because I was the one that put the baby in her. I was just trying to give my daughter pleasure, and next thing I know, there is a baby in her.” – Borat Sagdiyev

33. “I say this because I had a very bad gypsy attack. They stole my wife, plow, and they touch my horse in a very bad way, he got very depressed.” – Borat Sagdiyev

34. “You’re giving a little girl to an old man. That should make your chest hurt. That should make your heart hurt.” – Borat Sagdiyev

35. “How many girls you normally put in a cage this size?” – Borat Sagdiyev

Entertaining Borat Quotes That Zoom in on American Culture and Politics

36. “America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field and then have a party.” – Borat Sagdiyev

37. “Yagshemash! In U.S. and A., if you want to marry a girl, you cannot just go to her father’s house and swap her for 15 gallons of insecticide. Before American woman will allow you in her vazhin, you must do something called dating.” – Borat Sagdiyev

38. “Donald Trump, strongest premier in history. He not racist. Black guys love him so much, they kneel before him.” – Borat Sagdiyev

39. “There are many job opportunities in the U.S. and of A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver, or accountant. For woman, prostitute.” – Borat Sagdiyev

40. “In U.S. and A., they treat horses like we in Kazakhstan treat our women. They feed them two times a day. They have them sleep on straw in a small box. And for entertainment, they make them jump over fences while being whipped.” – Borat Sagdiyev

41. “America have most beautiful womens in world. For example, Liza Minnelli and Elizabeth Taylor. It also center for democracy and porno. I like! I so excite to do my movie.” – Borat Sagdiyev

42. “My name is Borat. I come a, from Kazakhstan. Can I say a, first, we support your war of terror.” – Borat Sagdiyev

43. “Impressive and amazing result for a strong premier who always put America and Kazakhstan first!” – Borat Sagdiyev

44. “Because of Trump, 350 million Americans still alive. Trump never had stroke. Vote for premier Trump, or you will be crushed.” – Borat Sagdiyev

Borat Quotes for Everyone Who Loves a Good Mockumentary

45. “Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog.” – Borat Sagdiyev 

46. “If I give you good price, will you please put in pussy magnet?” – Borat Sagdiyev

47. “I went to the nearest synagogue to wait for the next mass shooting.” – Borat Sagdiyev

48. “No, when a woman owns a business, her brain breaks and her head falls off.” – Borat Sagdiyev

49. “Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist, Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel.” – Borat Sagdiyev

50. “We too have cars in Kazakhstan. They now very modern. Some of them reach top speeds of up to 120 miles per week!” – Borat Sagdiyev

More Borat Quotes That’ll Show You the Characters’ Family Dynamics

51. “When I buy my wife at the start, she was cook good, her vazhin work well, and she strong on plow. But after three years, when she was 15, then she become weak, her voice become deep, ‘Borat. Borat,’ she receive hair on chest, and her vazhin hang like sleeve of wizard’s robe.” – Borat Sagdiyev

52. “As a woman, you have to be kind of weak. We can’t be strong anymore.” – Macey Chanel

53. “This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan.” – Borat Sagdiyev

54. “My wife is dead? High five!” – Borat Sagdiyev

55. “He is my neighbor, Nursultan Tuliagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success!” – Borat Sagdiyev

56. “Will you be my new Black wife?” – Borat Sagdiyev

57. “I have non-male son?” – Borat Sagdiyev

58. “I make sexytime with my mother-in-law.” – Borat Sagdiyev

59. “Sadly, I cannot go after Pamela, or else, my wife will snap off my cock.” – Borat Sagdiyev

60. “Sometime, my sister, she show her vazhin to my brother, Bilo, and say ‘You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la.’ He behind his cage. He cries, he cries, and everybody laughs. She goes, ‘You never get this.’ But one time he break cage and he ‘get this’ and then we all laugh. High five!” – Borat Sagdiyev

What Did These Borat Quotes Make You Realize About Society?

Most dark comedies are not just there to serve offensive jokes in the funniest ways possible. They are released to help viewers reflect on reality and the bad things happening in life.

In a way, movies such as Borat may be incredibly insulting, but it also exposes the rotten system that we currently have. It successfully captures the essence of mockumentary—incorporating comedy in real-life situations. So, to deny the truth it presents also means rejecting what is happening.

There is sexism, racism, and misogynism everywhere. It is present in our daily lives—from the littlest comments to the larger scale of culture and tradition. Thanks to movies like Borat, our eyes are opened to different beliefs and customs that must be reevaluated.

With that, we hope these Borat quotes were able to help brighten up your day and make you realize things in different ways. May this list serve as a reminder to always find the humor in even the worst and darkest episodes of your life!

Which Borat quote is your favorite? Did you love this Borat quote collection? Let us know in the comments below.